I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
