I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
