Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
