Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize