the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
