I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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