Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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