we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Randomize
