Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
