I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
