she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
