i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
