Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
