the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
