hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
