i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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