I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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