garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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