Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
