You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
