I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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