I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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