Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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