I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
