All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
