What a fucking waste of an outfit
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
