I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
