...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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