is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
