Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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