"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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