your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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