just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
