The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
