Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
