I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
