This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
