Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
