she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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