Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
