i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
