watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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