Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
