Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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