From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My dick has a subreddit
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
