hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
