Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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