Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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