you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
