i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
