I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
