i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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