u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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