My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
