you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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