i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
