i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
